does God always bless in kind?

The sermon begins. Just a normal Sunday.

Someway into the sermon, the preacher talks about how God asked him to give up something precious to another person. I’m still listening at this point, but then I start getting anxious when the preacher states (paraphrased): “if God asked you to give up something, don’t you think He’s got something even better for you?”. That statement in itself is true, but from experience, that statement always comes with a testimony that shows how God blesses the giver in kind, that is even better than what was given up. And sure enough, the story ends with how because the preacher gave up something that was worth X, God blessed him by giving him something even better 2 weeks later that was worth 2X!

This is where my alarm bells go off, because I cannot find any passage in the bible that tells me that God blesses in kind, that if I give 200 dollars, that God will bless me back with 400 dollars or 4000 dollars, or that if I give up my car, that He will bless me with a bigger car. I’m not saying God can’t do that, but I’m wondering all these stories present the listeners with a warped sense of blessing because these are the only stories that seem to eminate from the pulpit. Rarely do you hear about how Bob* gave up his beloved BMW and was blessed with a wonderful thriving youth ministry in the slums of India (but now drives a Tata Nano), or how Adam* sold his 5 bedroom house that he owned for God’s work and was blessed with the perfect lesson in giving (but now lives in a 2 story apartment that he rents with this wife). Or are those not considered blessings because God didn’t bless in kind?

*Note: The names stated are absolutely fictional

What am I doing here?

It hits me while I sit alone, sipping my favourite local kopi-O kao,  browsing through some photos of a friend who is now a sales manager in another country, successful and seemingly happy: What am I doing here?

We have just celebrated our 52nd Independance Day and yet, I’m distraught. I’m terribly miserable and angry, especially after reading news that relate to my country. Reports of how a severed cow’s head is disrespectfully spit on, stepped on and thrown about as a means to show dissatisfaction… and I ask myself again: What am I doing here?

All my life, I have never entertained the thought of leaving Malaysia, the land that gave me much and the land that I will love like no other. When queried, I always give the answer that I can never live without Malaysian food and our mamaks. But those close to me know that I stay because there is so much at stake: the future of the next generation of Christians and the future of this country. I know that if I think only of myself and my welfare, I would already be in Australia with my relatives. The odds are against me… I’m not an industry mover. I’m of mixed parentage, which makes me even more pariah than any other race when seen through the lens of Malaysia’s quota system. I’m a Christian in a small, independant church which gives me no locus standi in the eyes of organised religion. I’m not in the full time ministry. I have no additional qualifications. But that’s not all….

I quit my job in the corporate sector to make my passion my mission. I earn  a fraction of what I would earning in my previous job and to say that it’s stable income would be a statement of great faith. And when I look at friends and church members who have achieved much in terms of possessions, status and earnings, I feel jealous.

But then I hear stories about people like Hannah Yeoh, struggling to come to terms with her appointment as a state assemblywoman who has absolutely no experience in politics, who only got married 3 months before being told by God to get into politics. I remember the story of my lecturer in uni, who came back from America and left everything because he felt God asking him to come back for the sake of this country. I recall the testimony of Dr. Thomas Chung, a successful doctor in the UK who came back and headed straight for East Malaysia because God told him to. He survives by doing locum while the rest of his time is spent doing God’s work.

And then I start thinking about my own life. I left the corporate world because I wanted to have more time to further God’s kingdom, because I didn’t want to further the kingdom of Standard Chartered. I started my own business because I truly believed that there was a place for me to be a conscience to the community. I stayed here in Malaysia because I wanted to be involved with shaping the lives of Christian tertiary students who would become the leaders of tomorrow. I wanted to be involved with work that would bring the love of Christ to the lost, the poor and the lonely….

Here I am today, the advisor to the Christian Fellowship group in my university, helping to teach English and football to the poor in the urban area of Selangor, teaching, singing and spending time with the homeless, the convicts and the drug addicts who live hand to mouth in the heart of KL City.

As I think of all this while sipping my kopi-O, I’m contented. I’m here because I believe that God can use me. I have no idea whether anyone is getting impacted by what I do, or whether God has been able to use me as He would’ve wanted to.  But at least I’m trying. I may never be rich, I may never be famous, I may never have much possessions to my name, but whatever I it is, at least I can say that I was never useless.

2Co 12:9 – 10  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (ESV)

The Candlelight Vigil…. an activity in futility?

NOTE: This post was originally sent to Haris Ibrahim’s blog as well as the Emergent Malaysia group.

I write this email with great heaviness in my heart after reading that water cannons were once again used on the participants of the GMI organized candlelight vigil on Saturday, Jan 5, 2008.

I am saddened by the use of water cannons on peaceful people gathering to hold a vigil, but I was equally as sad at the faction of the participants who refused to disperse after the successful vigil. The organizers of the event had managed to broker a last minute bargain with the PDRM to allow them to hold the vigil near the flag pole in Dataran Merdeka for a while. A group of us who were initially blocked out at the Magistrate’s Court side managed to walk through the Bar Council building and reach the main vigil group at about 8.20pm. We managed to light up our candles and join in the solidarity for about 10 – 15 minutes before the FRU started beating their shields with their batons to intimidate us and get us to disperse. True to their word, the GMI organizers started requesting the crowd to disperse and thanked everyone for coming. My friends and I dispersed as well feeling very happy that we managed to gather and then disperse peacefully.

It was only later that I found that there were those who just refused to budge after initially moving away from the FRU folks. Borrowing from the malaysiakini.tv video title, there was a great “reluctance to end the vigil”; perhaps because their candles hadn’t finished burning, I don’t know. The GMI organizers finally gave up trying to disperse the crowd and they left after that. The PDRM were of course always going to use their famous weapon of choice, the water cannon, so that our critics and those in power would have more ammunition to cast more bad light on yet another peaceful assembly as rowdy and unruly in which water cannons had to be used. Check out the link to the Star online newspapers below if you don’t believe me.

I am in no way condoning the use of the water cannons and I totally agree that this was infringement of our rights as Malaysians to gather peacefully (under article 10 of our constitution). But for a while, we had a glimmer of hope, of cooperation with the PDRM for the vigil. If we had kept to our side of the bargain, then we would have had a much bigger voice to demand that we the requirement of a police permit be removed because we have proven that we are able to assemble peacefully and then leave as peacefully as we came. It is sad that we have to resort to such measures to prove our point, but it could have one small step in the right direction.

I personally felt that the vigil had been a success up till the water cannon incident. It was truly a sight to behold, watching probably 200+ of us standing together holding candles that seemed to shine much brighter than the street lamps and yellow lights that were around us. And the fact that it was peaceful (before the water cannons) was great. However, after realizing what had taken place after I had left, I now believe that the vigil may have been one step forward and two steps backward.

I fully anticipate loads of brickbats and disagreements to my email, but this is my current personal opinion. I will take all comments on board, especially if I am wrong. But I will not respond via email as it may just further fuel more disagreements. If anything, I’ll probably discuss it personally.

I end this email with a comment that I found posted in malaysiakini.tv which I felt was pretty apt:

“My friend and I drove all the way from Penang to join the short vigil but was saddened by the actions of some unruly crowd. In the beginning the police did give us some (a short) time to do what we wanted to do, then we were asked to disperse, most of us, including the organizers followed except for some. Why do they want to be confrontational, this may jeopardize our chances for the next gatherings. What the police did was ‘high-handed’ but the crowd were NO ANGELS either. We need ‘disiplined’ crowd to ‘send’ our message across to the government, not unruly ones. My advise to these people, please don’t join any gatherings if you cannot control your emotions or your actions.”

More reports can be found here:

http://www.malaysianbar.org.my/legal/general_news/anti_isa_vigil_dispersed_with_water_cannon.html
http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/76725
http://www.malaysiakini.tv
http://beritakini.wordpress.com/2008/01/06/anti-isa-vigil-dispersed-with-water-cannon/

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/1/6/nation/19932612&sec=nation

 

Whose rights are you fighting for?

“The men, women and children stood silently, their heads bowed in fervent prayer. Their lips moved ever so slightly, betraying the silence with their whispered prayers. The authorities would arrive soon, and nobody dared to venture what would happen then…….

The bone-chilling shriek of an elderly woman collapsing in pain smashed the veil of silence. From seemingly nowhere, a hail of stones rained down and they knew it had begun. The once still bodies broke into movements of mayhem; many ran for cover while others ran to protect their loved ones. For some, they fell as their bodies failed to cope with the relentless battering from the shower of stones as raw flesh burst open, spewing blood and cries of agony.

The hail of stones did not come from the heavens above, but rained in from outside their house of prayer, where the authorities gleefully stoned their victims mercilessly….. they later completely and utterly destroyed the place of prayer….

Where once stood a landmark, now all that remained was a memory…”

This would have been an account I would have imagined happening during the reign of tyrants such as Nero, Domitian, Trajan and Decius that stretch as far back as A.D. 67.  Christians under these anti-Christ (pun intended) rulers truly knew what it was to work out their faith with fear and trembling. Being labeled a Christian back then could result in another label: martyr.

The first martyr mentioned in the bible, Stephen, also died from a hail of stones (Acts 6, 7).  Reading about Stephen and the other heroes of the faith who suffered and died defending Christ and Christianity (read the Foxe’s Book of Martyrs by John Foxe and Jesus Freaks by dc Talk and the Voice of the Martyrs) makes me hurt and angry about the way these godly men were treated.  Even in today’s context, reading about the persecution of the Christian church in China and the former USSR really struck a nerve with many Christians. Closer to home, reading about how Lina Joy’s case was handled and the subsequent verdict stirred dissatisfaction and indignation within the Malaysian Christian community as well.

And yet, the question that really challenged my faith was this: “Would I have felt and acted the same way if the same injustice happened to a non-Christian?”

You see, the account related in the beginning of this article is a fictional scenario I imagined based on a very true account of what happened in Malaysia very recently.

On Thursday, 30th October 2007, the Sri Maha Mariaman temple in Kampung Rimba Jaya, in Kampung Jawa (Shah Alam), was demolished by the local council authorities along with 150 houses and a surau. MBSA (Majlis Bandaraya Shah Alam) officers threw stones at hindu devotees who were in the temple conducting a special religious ceremony. The fact that this is happening a week before the Indians’ major celebration (Deepavali) has further strengthened claims of the totally insensitive nature of this despicable act.

Independent reports state that there was a devotee who suffered a 5-inch parang cut on the head, and that the detainee was not given medical attention even after 24 hours after the incident. The fictional scenario that was earlier related was drawn partly based on a comment in a report that stated: “A woman, in her fifties and a 16 year old boy suffered great injury. Their clothes are soaked with their own blood and they are still wearing them”

And yet, where are the Christians to speak out and condemn such violation of human rights? Do we play the ignorant card simply because this was an issue that involved non-Christians?

As Christians, it is true that we believe that Hinduism does not lead us to the path of salvation and eternal life. But does this mean that we take delight in watching a fellow human being suffer and his / her basic human right(s) get violated? Do we rejoice to read that the freedom of religious worship was taken away from this hindu community? Is there any joy in reading that innocent devotees were subject to tyrannical treatment merely so that a building could be demolished? Regardless of their religious beliefs, the fact remains that these victims who suffered are humans: God’s creation.  And lest we forget, the incident that befell the hindu community that day could easily befall the Christian community tomorrow…… we must remember that these rights that have been violated, violated the rights of EVERYONE who believes in religious freedom and the right to be treated as a human being.

In John 8, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery just to see how Jesus would respond to the fact that they were about to stone her. Jesus merely drew on the ground and later remarked: “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her” (NIV John 8:7b). Only after her accusers had left did He later tell her to leave her life of sin.

Jesus refused to allow this woman to be stoned simply because the teachers of the law wanted to ensnare him. Her actions of adultery were definitely wrong, but her rights as a human had been violated by these Pharisees, and Jesus defended her.

NOTE: He did NOT defend the sin.

Today, we as Christians, must also learn from Jesus.  Our fellow Malaysians in Kampung Rimba Jaya may worship a hindu deity, but that does not mean that we allow their rights as humans to be violated. As aptly put in the Matthew Henry commentary regarding John 8: “Many crimes merit far more severe punishment than they meet with; but we should not leave our own work, to take that upon ourselves to which we are not called. When Christ sent her away, it was with this caution, Go, and sin no more. Those who help to save the life of a criminal, should help to save the soul with the same caution.“

I personally believe that we shouldn’t concern ourselves too much with judging them just because they are hindus and do not believe in Christ. Let us stand up to defend those who are persecuted and their rights, violated. And only after we have saved the life of the criminal, to help save the soul with the same caution. After all, the same human right that allows them to worship a hindu deity will also be the very same human right that allows them to say the sinners’ prayer.

News Report References:
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/11/2/nation/19354798&sec=nation
http://www.indianmalaysian.com/sound/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=713
http://www.indianmalaysian.com/sound/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=709
http://www.malaysiakini.tv/?vid=1453
http://jelas.info/category/law-enforcement/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hinduism_in_Malaysia

Christian or “christian”?

I grew up in a charismatic, spirit-filled church back home and being a 2nd generation Christian, had spent basically my whole life in church. But despite having said the sinners’ prayer at age 7 (or thereabout) and being in church week in, week out, much of what I knew basically consisted of the famous bible stories that demonstrated God’s power and might and how Jesus healed and performed miracles in many places that He went. I spoke in tongues, my mom always made sure that I did my devotion every day and I could pray pretty decently too! I eagerly accepted teachings in the church and what my parents told me. I was living the “christian” life. Some even predicted / prophesied that I would go far in the kingdom when I grew up.

University came all too soon, but it was also exciting. The chance to go out and meet other people, see the world, experience independence, and all the other idealistic dreams that I had played in my head. No more curfews, no more parents telling me what to do, no more asking parents for permission before going out, hopefully get to know a few girls; the fantasy of the coming reality was getting better and better! I was going to get in touch with the Christian community there and be a part of the evangelistic explosion that I envisioned in my head. I was going to set the world ablaze!
 
Most of what I dreamt what a teenage university life would be was coming true, except the part of being part of a Christian evangelistic explosion. I joined a Christian Fellowship, but there seemed to be some differences in our understanding. I didn’t like it, but I tolerated it because I was new, and I was also the junior student there. This was in spite of my own assertion that as a “christian” who knew better, I had a duty to slowly show them the right path and the right understanding. However, this did not stop me from visiting the churches of these “unenlightened” Christian friends of mine.

For the most part, I visited many churches mainly because I was restless staying in the same church environment that I had grown up in. However, it was the week that I chose to go to a Brethren church that really jolted the very core of my “christianity” . There was no pastor, there was no song leader, they drank communion from the same cup and they kept standing up and sitting down! How could any church be like that? But my journey did not end there. The adventurer in me decided to check out a Catholic church as well. By the time I was in my final year, I had visited all sorts of churches, from huge mainstream churches to small independent ones.

Every time I went to these churches, every ounce of “christian” in me was crying out because what they were doing didn’t seem right. Their liturgies were so contradicting with what I had learnt about praying from the heart and following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. The choir with only a pipe organ contrasted so vastly with what I had memorized from Psalms 150 about praising God with cymbals. The non-practice of speaking in tongues clashed with what I had learnt about tongues being a spiritual gift that all Christians needed to have. How could all these Christians be misinterpreting issues that I had already learnt when I was still a child? Didn’t they know that they were wrong???

But were they wrong? Or did the “christian” supremacist in me think they were wrong?

Was it the fact that I had been so used to the “christianity” that I grew up with that I was being judgmental of what I did not fully understand? An even more frightening thought that chilled the hot headed young adult that I had become was whether I feared what I did not know? Was it the fear that after years of having thought I knew everything about the “christian” life, only to find that I had merely scratched the surface of what it meant to be a true Christian?

I am reminded of the story of Paul, and his dramatic conversion. Paul, originally known as Saul of Tarsus, was a Pharisee who had a great future ahead of him. His credentials were pretty blinding (Philippians 3:4-6, Acts 23:6) : He was the son of a Pharisee, a Roman citizen, circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, from the tribe of Benjamin and observed the laws religiously (in his words: blameless). He vigorously and zealously persecuted Christians who were regarded as a sect who did not adhere to Judaism and the Torah.

Saul had all the head knowledge and social standing that anyone in his time could have wanted, and yet he lacked a true understanding of a God that transcended race and social standing. His powerful encounter with the Almighty on the road to Damascus totally transformed Saul. The transformation from Saul to Paul was much more than just a name change. While the Saul of old would have easily discounted views from others (especially if they were not of the same social standing) and many more who were imprisoned (Acts 22:3-5), the new Paul was willing to accept that there are things that he could not fully explain (Galatians 1:11-24). To admit that he did not fully understand was something almost rare of for a learned Pharisee from the tribe of Benjamin, especially one who was a student of Gamaliel, a prominent rabbi at that time. And yet, this merely magnifies that fact that those who come into contact with the Almighty cannot remain in their old ways.

And much like how Paul was shown that it was himself rather than the followers of Christ who needed to be shown the right way, I have been privileged and blessed to have encountered many patient friends who have in the same way shown me that the rest of the Christians didn’t need to be shown the right way. It was more that my brand of “christianity” was more akin to the judgmental Pharisees than the Christianity that changed the face of history and the world. My own brand of self-righteousness has burned more bridges and caused more to turn away from Christ than those perceived “unenlightened” Christians.

Years have passed since that visit to that Brethren church and a few more since my university days. But now, I count it my pleasure and a great joy to have Lutherans, Brethrens, Methodists, Baptists and Anglicans in my circle of friends. I may still not fully comprehend their liturgy or understand their traditions comprehensively, but in the footsteps of Paul, all I need to be is to be Christ like in approach “…and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith” (Philippians 3:9).

So what will YOU do?

Here are some serious thoughts that we should perhaps consider as Malaysians, and more importantly, as Malaysian Christians even as we read about the economic catastrophe that Zimbabwe finds itself in, and the protests in Myanmar against the ruling military government:

Is being happy that we are in Malaysia and pitying other countries enough?

Is being thankful that Malaysia is not as bad as some other countries something to be proud about?

Will anyone deny that the crisis that engulfs this country gets more blatant and rampant and yet, nothing and no one seems culpable for all the corruption and misdeeds of certain individuals and parties?

I honestly believe that if left unchecked, Malaysia could well be on the way to heading down the road to becoming another Myanmar, where the ruling government do as they please, or become another Zimbabwe, where the economy has become so bankrupt and corruption so rampant that their money is worthless and their people exploited by the very people they voted into power.

Many Christians would often just offer empathy or apathy and probably say, “Let’s pray that God will protect and prosper our country”. And yet, at the core of it all, we do not know what’s happening in this country or the turmoil that threatens the very fragile unity that we as Malaysians are so proud about. How can we pray for our country if we do not know what’s happening in our “tanah tumpah darahku”? How can we pray for this country and hope that things will change, when we ourselves are not interested to know what we can do to turn the tide?

God forbid, if we do nothing now and should Malaysia succumb to the sins of its own making, don’t expect to pray for salvation from other countries to save us. All the asking politely and imposing sanctions at the UN ain’t gonna do jack-shit. Look at the two countries that have been brought up… Myanmar and Zimbabwe continue to oppress and govern as they see fit despite strong reproach from US, UK and Europe.

I’m not saying go plan a coup or assassinate the leaders of our country or anything of that sort. All I’m saying is that perhaps, we can do a lot more than just live in our comfort zones and pray that God will continue to keep our country and families safe.

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” -  Edmund Burke